Discount candy

I found the Russell Stover factory outlet store and got there in time to browse. And it was actually called a "factory outlet store." For candy. It's in Abilene, KS, on Caramel Blvd, conveniently situated near an adult bookstore, so you can scratch two itches at once. It has the same look and feel as an ice cream parlor, and the same aroma as a store where you can buy reduced-price candy.

Strolling the aisles, I discovered that you could buy old Valentine and Easter candy, individually or by the carton. For instance, you could buy one Valentine heart full of assorted chocolates, or you could buy a carton of about 20 hearts. I also discovered that either Russell Stover owns Jelly Belly AND Whitman's (the people who bring you the Sampler), or they have engaged in some kind of unholy alliance, because you can buy both of those brands--at a discount--as well. I bought one little Whitman's sample 4-pack, and then I also bought a package of factory seconds chocolate peanut butter crunch.

I asked the lady behind the counter what "factory seconds" actually means, and she said it just means that maybe the pieces came out shaped funny or weren't completely covered in chocolate or something. All I know is that I got about a pound and a half of candy for 5 bucks. And since I'm not picky, that's a bargain. And the best part is that the Abilene store is #109, which means there are at least 108 others scattered around the country. Let's just hope they're ALL near porn.